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Family therapy - Wikipedia

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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term form of therapy that focuses on adult relationships and attachment/bonding. The therapist and clients look at. publisher. For product information and technology assistance, contact us at. Cengage .. close relationship between the development of these two theories. Also. Publisher: Little, Brown and Company Published Apr 08, ISBN: What Is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)? . Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer or Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the best couple.

People who are secure and trusting perceive themselves as lovable, able to trust others and themselves within a relationship. They give clear emotional signals, and are engaged, resourceful and flexible in unclear relationships. Secure partners express feelings, articulate needs, and allow their own vulnerability to show. People who have a diminished ability to articulate feelings, tend not to acknowledge their need for attachment, and struggle to name their needs in a relationship.

They tend to adopt a safe position and solve problems dispassionately without understanding the effect that their safe distance has on their partners.

People who are psychologically reactive and who exhibit anxious attachment. They tend to demand reassurance in an aggressive way, demand their partner's attachment and tend to use blame strategies including emotional blackmail in order to engage their partner. People who have been traumatized and have experienced little to no recovery from it vacillate between attachment and hostility.

A family The emotionally focused family therapy EFFT of Johnson and her colleagues aims to promote secure bonds among distressed family members. Coynewho called it "a poor quality meta-analysis of what should have been left as pilot studies conducted by promoters of a therapy in their own lab". EFT aims to be collaborative and respectful of clients, combining experiential person-centered therapy techniques with systemic therapy interventions. There is also research on the change processes and predictors of success.

Coyne criticized some EFT research for lack of rigor for example, being underpowered and having high risk of biasbut he also noted that such problems are common in the field of psychotherapy research. Lane and colleagues summarized a common claim in the literature on emotion-focused therapy that "emotional arousal is a key ingredient in therapeutic change" and that "emotional arousal is critical to psychotherapeutic success".

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I am just one big disappointment to you! You make that perfectly clear. Is that what you mean? A creep is what you are.

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Here are the steps that can set them on the path to greater harmony: In their argument, Claire and Peter were totally ensnared in attack and defend, who is right, who is wrong; who is victim, who is villain. She changes her perspective and her tone. We get trapped here. We both want to prove our point so we do that till we end up totally exhausted. They name their moves together.

Then you threatened, remember? The bit about how you could do without me? Together they come up with a short summary of their moves: Claire loses it while Peter plays impervious; Claire gets louder and threatens, Peter sees her as impossible and tries to escape. Well, I can see that talking to a rock must be frustrating.

The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling

They both agree that it is hard to be honest. Do you know what I mean? But I guess part of me is shaky, too. We need to recognize how our usual ways of dealing with our emotions, pull our partner off balance and turn on deeper attachment fears. If we are connected, my feelings naturally will affect yours. But seeing the impact we have on our loved ones can be very difficult in the moment when we are caught up in our own emotions, especially if fear is narrowing the lens. In fact, she states that his behavior is all just about his personal flaws.

He is a creep! To really take control of Demon Dialogues and soothe raw spots, both partners have to own how they pull the other into negative spirals and actively create their own distress.

Now Peter can do it. You start to feel like I am not here with you. I do shut down. I just want to stop hearing about how you are so angry with me. But in these situations, you are not just mad are you? I get that now.

Hold Me Tight | Dr. Sue Johnson

I know your sensitive spot is about being left and abandoned. I guess, I used to just see you as the righteous principal busy proving how useless I was as a spouse. And that feels so bad, you just want to give up and run. Of course, it really helps here if partners have been able to be really open about their raw spots in previous conversations, but assuming you have a big impact on your partner and being actively curious about his or her vulnerabilities helps too. Voicing your deepest emotions, sometimes sadness and shame, but most often attachment fears, may be the most difficult step for you, but it is also the most rewarding.

So often we miss the attachment needs and fears that lie hidden in recurring battles about everyday issues. Unpacking moments of disconnection like this helps Claire explore her own feelings and risk sharing them with Peter. I have this sense of dread. I can feel it like a lump in my throat. If I stopped coming to you, trying to get your attention, you might just watch us drift off into more and more separateness. You might just watch our relationship fade out, go off the screen.

And that is scary. I feel like I know you in a different way when you say things like that. Then you are more like me somehow. And it makes me want to reassure you. Taking the above steps forges a renewed and true partnership between lovers. Now a couple has common ground and common cause. They no longer see each other as adversaries, but as allies. They can take control of escalating negative conversations that feed their insecurities and face those insecurities together.

I like it when we both agreed that this conversation was too hard, that it was out of hand, and scaring both of us. It feels very powerful for us to agree that we were not going to just get stuck the way we usually do. Even if we are not quite sure where we go next, this is a lot better. But it does mean that they know how to stop a rift before it widens into an unbridgeable abyss. They are aware of two crucial elements of de-escalation: It takes practice, going over an unsettling past encounter again and again until it makes coherent sense and, unlike the original event, can draw a possible supportive response from the other partner.

Once couples have mastered that, they can begin to integrate these steps into the everyday rhythm of their relationship. Normally, when my husband misses my signaling for connection, I can step back and reflect on our interaction. I am still balanced and can choose how to respond.

But sometimes, I suddenly become so raw and vulnerable that the universe instantly narrows down into what feels like a life and death struggle.

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I react harshly to create some sense of control, to limit my helplessness. All my husband sees is my hostility. Then we press the mental rewind button and replay the incident.

They feel the ground shaking sooner and they are able to escape it faster. They develop confidence in their ability to take charge of moments of disconnection and so shape their most precious relationship. It will take a while though before most couples develop the abbreviated, almost shorthand, de-escalation language of Auntie Doris and Uncle Sid. Partly in reaction to some aspects of these systemic models, came the experiential approaches of Virginia Satir and Carl Whitakerwhich downplayed theoretical constructs, and emphasized subjective experience and unexpressed feelings including the subconsciousauthentic communication, spontaneity, creativity, total therapist engagement, and often included the extended family.

Concurrently and somewhat independently, there emerged the various intergenerational therapies of Murray BowenIvan Boszormenyi-NagyJames Framoand Norman Paul, which present different theories about the intergenerational transmission of health and dysfunctionbut which all deal usually with at least three generations of a family in person or conceptuallyeither directly in therapy sessions, or via "homework", "journeys home", etc.

Multiple-family group therapya precursor of psychoeducational family intervention, emerged, in part, as a pragmatic alternative form of intervention - especially as an adjunct to the treatment of serious mental disorders with a significant biological basis, such as schizophrenia - and represented something of a conceptual challenge to some of the "systemic" and thus potentially "family-blaming" paradigms of pathogenesis that were implicit in many of the dominant models of family therapy.

The lates and earlys saw the development of network therapy which bears some resemblance to traditional practices such as Ho'oponopono by Ross Speck and Carolyn Attneave, and the emergence of behavioral marital therapy renamed behavioral couples therapy in the s; see also relationship counseling and behavioral family therapy as models in their own right.

There were the beginnings of a general softening of the strict demarcations between schools, with moves toward rapprochementintegration, and eclecticism — although there was, nevertheless, some hardening of positions within some schools. These trends were reflected in and influenced by lively debates within the field and critiques from various sources, including feminism and post-modernismthat reflected in part the cultural and political tenor of the times, and which foreshadowed the emergence in the s and s of the various "post-systems" constructivist and social constructionist approaches.

While there was still debate within the field about whether, or to what degree, the systemic-constructivist and medical-biological paradigms were necessarily antithetical to each other see also Anti-psychiatry ; Biopsychosocial modelthere was a growing willingness and tendency on the part of family therapists to work in multi-modal clinical partnerships with other members of the helping and medical professions.