Debi Pearl Quotes (Author of Created to be His Help Meet)
I read the excerpt for Debi's newest book, Created to Be His Help Meet, in their newsletter and thought that it would be equally helpful in my. Excerpts from Created to Need A Helpmeet Since God chose marriage to illustrate his ministry to the church, to fail in marriage is to defame. Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl *graphic content* Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*.
If this is your man, you need to learn two very important things beyond how to make an appeal. Learn how to be flexible, and learn how to always be loyal to your man. You will be amazed at how much happier you will be and how much fun life can be if you learn to just go with the flow — his flow. Life will become an adventure.
You will actually begin to feel sorry for the gals married to the stick-in-the-mud, steady type. People looking on will marvel that you are able to love and appreciate your husband, but you will know better because you will see his greatness.
Greatness is a state of soul, not certain accomplishments. Over time, this type of man will become more practical.
If you are a young wife married to a man whom your mama thinks is totally crazy — then you may be married to Mr. Right now, purpose in your heart to be loyal to him, and to be flexible; then, let your dreamer dream. Lean back and enjoy the ride; it should prove interesting.
Visionary Man will talk and talk and talk to his honey if she approves of him. He will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods, and spiritual insights. One of his greatest needs will be for his wife to think objectively proven truth and use common sense, which will help keep his feet from flying too far from solid ground. He spends his life looking through a telescope or microscope, and he will be stunned that what he sees or thinks he seesothers do not seem to notice or care about.
Steady God is as steady as an eternal rock, caring, providing, and faithful, like a priest like Jesus Christ. He created many men in that image. We will call him Mr. Being married to a Steady Man has its rewards and its trials. On the good side, your husband never puts undue pressure on you to perform miracles.
You rarely feel hurried, pushed, pressured, or forced. The women married to Visionary Men look at you in wonder that your husband seems so balanced and stable. The wife of Command Man marvels at the free time you seem to have. When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him.
You may be discontent because he is slow and cautious to take authority or make quick decisions. There is no exciting rush in him, just a slow, steady climb with no bells or whistles.
You wish he would just make up his mind, and that he would take a stand in the church. He seems to just let people use him. There are times you wish he would boldly tell you what to do so you would not have to carry all the burden of decision-making. His lack of spontaneity and open boldness may look like indifference to spiritual things. However, he is like deep, deep water.
The very depth makes the movement almost imperceptible, but it is, nevertheless, very strong.An Extra Reading from 'Created To Be His Helpmeet'
He will be confused with your unhappiness and try to serve you more, which may further diminish your respect for his masculinity. Disappointment and unthankfulness can make you wearier than any amount of duties.
His very steadiness keeps him on his middle-of-the-road course, and it will drive a controlling woman crazy.
Excerpts from Created to Need a Help Meet - No Greater Joy Ministries
This is why many disgruntled ladies married to Mr. Steadys fall victim to hormonal imbalance, physical illness, or emotional problems. When you come to know your man for whom God created him to be, you will stop trying to change him into what you think he should be.
The key is to know your man. If he is Mr. Steady, you need to learn to be thankful and to honor him as the one created for you in the image of God. If this describes your man, you need to learn how to stand still and listen; then let God move your husband in his own good time. Ask God for wisdom and patience. Seek to always have a gentle spirit. Stop expecting him to perform for you, to pray with the family, to speak out in witnessing, or to take a bold stand at church. Stop trying to stir him up to anger toward the children in order to get him to feel as though he understands how badly you are being treated.
Let him be the one God made him to be: A Steady Man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God and him.
Created to be His Helpmeet
He needs a resourceful, hardworking woman with dignity and honor. It is important to Mr. Steady that his wife is able to be self-sufficient in all the mundane tasks of daily living. These men can be some of the most important men in the church, because their steadfastness is sure, and their loyalty is strong.
They make wise, well-thought-out decisions. They are not odd or stand-out men. They are not loud. They are neither irritating nor particularly magnificent. Women and men alike envy and desire a Command Man. People are often drawn and compelled by the Visionary. But the Steady Man is taken for granted Much of this book has been written to help young wives learn to honor, obey, and appreciate the Steady Man just as he is.
Steady will enjoy the company of others and be most comfortable spending time in small talk with whoever is around. Of the three types, he is the one that will be most liked by everyone. Steady is always in demand.
At least, that is the way I interpreted her suggestions. But the end result is that we grew and matured to the point where I trust her judgments and she trusts mine, and we both know we can be wrong and therefore are open to considering other possibilities.
We can challenge one another without feeling put down. It is a fact of human nature that all of us listen with concern and introspection to those whom we respect, and we dismiss with derision those whom we think are unworthy to challenge us.
The bottom line is that insecurity and fear make us angry at perceived criticism. The smallest man has the biggest anger. We are still like kids trying to impress that one girl, and it is disturbing if she thinks we are less than perfect. We all want to be praised and approved, and we get so little of it from work or friends, so we expect the little wife to provide all the positive affirmation necessary to keep up our self image.
I feel vulnerable being this honest. A man still has his dignity, you know. It worked for me. Then when you get old, you can be humble too. I will set you on the road to recovery with one good suggestion. Ask your wife for advice and counsel. Welcome her judgments even if you feel she is attacking you. Pretend to be humble and thoughtful. Be patient and ask her to expound further on her concerns. Pause and look enlightened.
Nod in appreciation for her wisdom and then modify your actions in some measure based on her suggestion.
If unfolding events prove her wrong, be kind and gentle, not gloating or mentioning what is obvious. On the other hand, if her counsel and judgment prove to be right, praise her for it and thank her for saving you from error.
You will make a new woman out of her. She will get ten years younger and smile like a kid opening birthday presents. But I warn you, she will get addicted to being happy. She will want to have sex more often and will initiate contact. When I write an article or book I submit it to my wife for editing.
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If she thinks something is not appropriate or could be said a different way, or that a point needs a little different slant, I discuss it with her until I see her point of view. There are times that she catches a skewed perspective or bad attitude coming through my writings. I have come to trust her goodwill toward me and to accept the fact that she likes me even when I am bad—sort of like a mother.
She does like to see me honest and open to her wisdom. I would be stupid not to take advantage of her sanctified perspective. One day, maybe soon, I am going to appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ to be rewarded or to lose reward according to the things done in this body, whether it be good or bad 2 Corinthians 5: At that day I am sure I will wish I could go back and have a do-over on many things.
Right now, before I stand before Christ embarrassed, my wife is enabling me to have that do-over, to correct ignorance or insensitivity to the Holy Spirit.